Salaam E Ishq.

There’s an item-girl. There’s a lowly ex-waiter and current rich boy flying around the world like reactions to racism against Shilpa Shetty. There’s a much-married man who ogles at nubile younglings’ cleavages in public places while dutiful Indian wife manages two now-they’re-there, now-they’re-not kids. There’s a bridegroom-to-be who shares more screentime with his bumbling best friend’s camera than his own girlfriend. There’s a horny couple from Haryana who are so ‘dying to do it but are unable to’ that one wonders how couples in our villages find the privacy to generate 8-9-10 kids. And then there are the two silver linings to this misuse of raw stock; a cab driver who falls in love with white girl who’s hunting high and low for cheating-Indian-boyfriend, and a news-editor who’s wife has lost her memory in a train accident. Really, save for Govinda (HE’S BACK!!!!!!!!!!) and John Abraham (surprisingly restrained and powerfully moving, the guy CAN act), this one should’ve been called Salaam-E-Tsk tsk tsk.