Don.

'HOW TO REMAKE A CLASSIC'.

1. Take script from daddy.
2. Don't read it.
3. Ignore intensity, soul, catharsis, motive.
4. Add half-baked technique, shoddy performances.
5. Add gadgets, blow up cars, make all females on screen wear wonderbras.
6. Rehash and screw up quintessential item song.
7. Rehash and fuck up classic song by showing protagonists on the run from cops consuming banned substances freely in a country where there's a death penalty for doing so.
8. Package film for 2006, retain dialogues and delivery-styles from 1978.
9. Add annoying twists, including a software engineer who overnight becomes a masterthief and expert rapeller.
10. Get confused between remaking, paying tribute, and wanting to make a few crores.
11. Make a big deal about a disc which has all details about crime bigwigs, despite all the bigwigs being dead during course of disc exchange.
12. Massacre classic dialogues by repeating them till the audience walks out shaking heads.
Regards, F.J.Akhtar